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Thursday, January 19, 2012

Focusing on Fun... For Starters


The day Christian asked me to marry him wasn't the happiest day of my life. The day I wore a white wedding dress wasn't either. Nor the day after. My first wedding anniversary was. That is, until I reached my second anniversary. And I'm sure that when number three comes around that will take over.

Because marriage isn't about a day. Or the result of "the big question". It's a process. And each year when I can check off a successful continuation of this process, I deem it a victory.

I feel we're from a generation plagued with separated parents. And while I'm not part of that statistic, Christian is. And so many of our friends are. And it's honestly heartbreaking. But as I talk to my peers, I realize that those statistics have made us different from the generation before us. And it's really refreshing and promising.

While one of the results of our parent's divorces is that less of us are getting married - or waiting longer to get married - the other result is that those of us who have decided to get married are determined to not only not allow the relationship to fail, but also to have fun while in it.

When we first started dating, Christian and I would jump in the car and drive to Austin to see countless amounts of concerts. We bonded over music, and then over movies. And I remember after about a month or so of dating, my dad told me that the "fluff" our relationship was based on - the movies & music that basically made up our relationship - was eventually going to wear out, and then we'd break up. {Of course I disagreed with him then 100%.}

I know he was trying to talk his hopelessly-in-love 17-year-old daughter down from the clouds, and that he had experience to speak from.  But as I've continued on in my relationship - which lasted much longer than anyone expected it to - I actually still disagree with my dad {albeit not 100%!}. Of course a solid relationship isn't just about music and movies (or whatever your hobbies are)... but I truly believe that it's the fun stuff that makes working through the hard stuff possible.

I fight for my relationship because I know it'll be rewarding (and boy do we fight... more on that later I'm sure!!). Part of that reward is having someone to watch a good movie with on a Saturday night. Christian and I don't miss a single episode of Saturday Night Live, because it gives us inside jokes for the rest of the week that continue to bond us together into something stronger. And if, eventually, the rewarding part of our relationship does diminish, I pray that the bond that has been created over the years will be too strong to break.

So for now, we focus of having fun (in addition to working out those pesky real-life problems, of course). We play board games, watch awards shows and cook ridiculously intricate dinners for each other... and not surprisingly, the more fun we have, the easier it is when we hit a wall.

So... Here's to a fun life... 
and a fun marriage ♥

What do you do to keep it fun? 

14 comments:

  1. We like to plan dates for one another- take turns planning them like we did when we were dating. It's fun thinking of fun and unique things to do around the metroplex! We also don't watch a lot of TV (only get netflix) so we talk a lot and watch documentaries together. Board games, going out for drinks occasionally, talk about 3 things that happened in your day and how they made you feel, stuff like that we do, too.

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  2. I love this!! My parents have an absolutely wonderful relationship and thankfully my inlaws are not divorced, either... Which is sadly, pretty rare for both sets of parents to be together.

    My husband and I have been together 6 years total (1.5 married), and it's not always easy... Some of the 'fun stuff' goes away and it's hard. But there's no one I'd rather experience life with. We like to make sure we have date nights and travel as much as possible, because it's something we both enjoy and it helps build our relationship, away from the distractions.

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  3. I made a decision when I got married that it would be forever. Just so you know, it's a lot of work, but it's the best prize you will ever get. And you know how this has turned out for me. :-)

    Someone once told me "The greatest gift you can give your children is parents who love each other." I agree wholeheartedly.

    Love, the not-so-old-but-married-for-a-loooong-time lady.

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  4. Love this post, Amy! It really hits home, even for me because M and I have been dating for a year and long distance, and we're still making the next times we see each other the best days or times. I have favorite moments when I've been extremely happy with him, but I wouldn't say just one day was the best day. So I agree with you on this one :)

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  5. Thanks for the comment!
    I loved this post!

    -chelsea

    chelseajuarbe.blogspot.com

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  6. Yay for fun!! Hubby and I enjoy watching movies and Netflix together. Also, on road trips we like to listen to audiobooks or comedians on the way. It's a lot of fun and like you said, it gives you inside jokes! We just like to do things together: run errands, go out to eat, cook, get the mail, just whatever! We're best friends and we enjoy each other's company. Even if we're just sitting on the couch watching tv, it's fun because we're together.

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  7. Such a great post. It resonates with me so much. I never fully understood what they meant when people said marriage was hard work...until I became married. I always took it as a negative, but that isn't the case at all. It is a challenge, but such an amazing one. Does my husband drive me insane sometimes? Oh yeah. But I wouldn't want to be with anyone else.

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  8. Cheers to a fun life and fun marriage!! Completely agree. If you can't have fun, why be in it?? Kendol and I do everything together and we have an absolute blast. If you have fun with someone and laugh alot, all of the other things just seem to fall into place and work themselves out.

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  9. Great post! I think every marriage needs reminders on how to keep things lively. It's easy to come home after a full day at work and lay on the couch. You said it well girl!

    xo.Britt
    The Magnolia Pair

    :)

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  10. Love the post! Because we got married so young, there were plenty of detractors out there betting we wouldn't make it past a year. However, in June, we'll have been married for five years. And I completely agree, a huge part of that is that we have fun. We laugh at and with each other frequently. We watch our shows (Dirty Jobs, Tera Nova and Mythbusters) obsessively. Keep up the fantastic job, love reading your blog!

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  11. I loved your post today. Being married is definitely the hardest job in life, but also the most rewarding. My husband and I are coming up on our 5 year wedding anniversary this July and I feel like I was young when we got married (23 years young), but we had been dating since I was 21.

    It's always important to have nurture your marriage and remember to take time to have fun together. My husband and I used to go for drives and just get lost and spend time together talking. We also make sure to take time to watch our shows on weeknights and Sunday is always our day together.

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  12. we do wild spur of the moment stuff

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  13. Aww... I love this post! And it's great encouragement too. In five days it will be nine years of marriage for me and I still love it but we talk about how we used to have more fun. Then the kids came along and we got tired and worn out. But they are growing up a little bit (youngest is almost four) and we feel like just maybe we are coming out of that funk and getting back to the fun. Either way... you just never. give. up.

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