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Thursday, July 12, 2012

On Marriage and Fighting Statistics

a preview of our photo session with Everlee Photography

I woke up 6 months into my marriage and realized I had gained 50 pounds since getting engaged. 50 horrid pounds. I was happy, in love, just turned 21, just got on birth control, and was playing "wife" (which meant peach cobblers and steak & potato dinners for my new husband) -- basically everything was going so well in my life that I didn't worry about being healthy.

There's a reason why married people are statistically more overweight than our single peers.

But as the honeymoon phase ended, and I realized none of my clothes fit, I started fighting back. I went through Weight Watchers (lost 20, gained it back), Special K diet (lost 10, gained it back), Vegan/Vegetarian months (lost 0, gained 0). Last summer I went through my "time for change" challenge and lost 20 pounds.

And a year later, that 20 pounds is still off.

It's easy for me to forget that accomplishment, because I see it as "30 to go" and not "20 down". I get frustrated that I've been basically stuck for a year, even though I've been working out, eating healthier, and actively trying to keep losing.

I stopped writing about my struggles here because there was nothing to tell. It was just stagnant, and thinking about it depresses me. So I went silent.

But as I was passing my 3 year anniversary, I couldn't help but think about my weight loss struggles and how much they've shaped the culture of my marriage. And instead of mourning on this day, I wanted to celebrate. It takes major will power to keep off those 20 pounds. A year without them is something to be proud of. And I'm remindig myself today that a year without those 20 makes it easier to lose another 5, then 10, then 15.

I am proud of how my life has changed for the healthier. There's less (ok, basically NO) ice cream in my house. There's more green, less white. I've expanded my cuisine significantly looking for that perfect balance of healthy yet satisfying.

I am thankful for a husband who equally cares about health. Who is actively working out alongside me, eating healthier with me, and willing to eat way more sweet potatoes than he ever cared to even see.

I am content with my life - and happy that I'm not celebrating that joy with an extra helping of [whatever]. Instead, I'm celebrating with writing, doing more activities, and splurging on cute shoes.

I am healthier because of my decisions over the past year. I am more aware of what goes into my body, and make better choices not just in the grocery store, but in my life. I'm finding myself enjoying the gym. Even forgoing my favorite things ever - oh love you, Margaritas - and finding healthier alternatives to having a good time.

So, on this day, I am celebrating those accomplishments. They are things to be proud of. And while I'm not where I want to be, by looking at what I've accomplished, I'm more willing to take on the challenge.

I'm fixing my perspective for the better. And tomorrow will be a better day because of it.


  1. I have watched several of my friends struggle with their weight, and I think it so common, especially for married (or even long-term couples) to get comfortable and start losing track. Hang in there, and know you aren't alone in this challenge! I too am trying to focus on what I have to be thankful for rather than what I don't have!

  2. Congratulations! 20 lbs is certainly something to be proud of. Keep up the good work and keep us posted. You are definitely not alone!

  3. That's a huge accomplishment! I'm so proud of you for opening up about this! And I'm so happy that you chose to share this side of you with us. It's definitely something to celebrate, and I know you'll reach your goal as time goes on :)

  4. Way to go, girl! That 20 pounds is a HUGE accomplishment. I can totally relate 100%. I gained about 30 pounds from getting engaged until now. I HATE it. I was the same as you, cooking a lot and working full time. My weight has fluctuated a lot in the past year, and I haven't checked it lately because I'm trying not to focus on numbers. I've also been making huge changes in diet and eating well. I love it! If only I could get my husband on board ;)

    You're doing so well...keep it up! I'm right there with you in this journey. And happy anniversary!

  5. Well done. I think losing weight is an amazing accomplishment. I’m dreading having to lose baby weight because I have very little self control with food. I love to cook but I love butter and cream and all the unhealthy stuff!
    Good luck with your goal!

  6. You should totally celebrate your accomplishments! I used to get mad or frustrated when I wasn't where I wanted to be, but now when I begin to feel that way- I remind myself that in the grand scheme of things I am healthy and doing my best. The scale doesn't say what I want it to everyday, but as long as I FEEL good from the inside out, I keep trucking!

  7. It is such a great accomplishment to have kept off 20 lbs for 1 year! It's so easy to put on weight when your comfortable with your life and relationship because that's exactly what I did too, after meeting my hubby. Just like you said it matters what your doing now and your trying to make healthier choices than you were before and that's great that your still making those choices:)