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Thursday, September 13, 2012

On Marriage & Fashion

I love writing these weekly marriage posts. It forces me to be reflective. To stop -- pause -- and think about the lessons I've been learning lately

And on Saturday, when C said my maxi skirt and side braid looked "frumpy", I just thought he was being mean and I blew it off. Until, I read this post on Story of My Life, about an almost identical issue (or "discussion", if you will) with her man.

Her post was warm & honest. I could tell where her heart was, and I totally related to, and appreciated, the emotions so sincerely conveyed.  The post she was inspired by, on the other hand, was honest but in the "truth sucks" kind of way. I'm glad I read Jenni's blog first, but Raven's post really hammered that nail in.

And so the reflection began. I couldn't help but want to explore the topic -- because it was so near to my heart & fresh on my mind. So I put aside my blogger blinders and sense of pride, and began to really think. How much does C's opinion matter? And then I realized I write a weekly marriage post, and not a weekly fashion post, for a reason: one is more important than the other in my life.

And when I think about it, I'm lucky to have a guy who pays attention to me -- and who has always been willing to help me shop. He even claims he has better style than me & knows how to dress me better than I know how to dress myself.

And I have to admit, over the years, he's been proven right.

So, I decided to get my guy's opinions, and preferences. I asked him to make a list of what he likes and dislikes. I'm considering this my "personal style Polaroid reference card" straight from Stacy and Clinton...

[these are quotes, unedited. straight from C.] 

Hate on you: Love on you:
  • When your hair looks less like strands, more like individual hair.

  • Unnecessary fabrics - undershirts, cardigans, ruffles

  • Things that hide your shape - it doesn't have to be skin tight, but no giant skirts or boxy dresses

  • Anything with a "tagline" -- if you have to explain why it's not stupid, it's stupid. I don't want to know the theory or explanation.

  • Make-up to impress women: French tips, sparkly nails, bright lipstick

  • Things that  look like you -- I've seen you naked. I don't need a lot of skin, but don't hide your shape.

  • Boots, hats, eyeshadow, low-cut shirts... anything that shows you are confident.

  • Jeans and T-SHIRTS. You don't have to be "the girl next door." Just look comfortable without being a slob.

  • Anything worn confidently without maintenance or constant fussing. Just look good & be comfortable in your skin.

  • Me. My arms, hands, lips... any part of you wrapped up in part of me.

I have to admit - parts of his list shocked me. Others just reminded me of what he tells me often. What I realized most, though, was he doesn't list specifics like women tend to do. (Notice: no mention of pelplum.) Instead, he focused more on the vibe, the emotion and attitude, caused by what I'm wearing.

Confident. Low maintenance. Proud of who I am.Got it.


  1. This is such a sweet and thoughtful post. How great that your husband is willing to be honest with you about what he likes and doesn't like. I love that this post is less about fashion and more about your attitude, or the vibe you give off, as you say. Thanks for sharing :)

  2. How sweet is he?? You are a lucky girl!

  3. LOVE this post! I really need to ask M what he does and doesn't like on me. Because I usually get more "dressed" for work, then come home and throw on jean shorts and a baggy shirt, I'd be curious to know what he does and doesn't like on me when he's seeing me :)

  4. I really love this post! And I'm always loving your marriage posts. They offer such great insight that is really down to earth and "normal." Nothing too far fetched or out there. It is all really tangible, simple things.

    Thanks for being honest!

  5. What a great post! I wonder if my husband would write me a list of likes and dislikes... We were out for a walk once and I was wearing "work" clothes - covered in paint, dirty, hair in a ponytail and tucked into a baseball cap. Christian was smirking at me so I finally asked "What?!" And you know what he said? That I looked smokin' hot. I felt like a dirtball but he loved it.

  6. I love this topic! It's true that women actually tend to dress for other women - why do we do this?

  7. Very nice post and so true! There is definitely a difference in what men think is attractive and what is fashionable. My fiance hates when I wear red lipstick or eye shadow and the other day he told me my big earrings (which I wear all the time) make my face look fat.

  8. I LOVE this!! I read Raven's post and other follow up posts about the issues, and yours is my favorite. Hands down. And I think C really nailed what MOST guys would say. I know my husband would echo pretty much everything. There's nothing wrong in dressing the way our husbands like.

  9. How cute!!! This reminds me of one time when my mom asked my husband ((at the time boyfriend, maybe fiancé?)) what he appreciated/loved about me. Sort of a top 10. The things that made the top of the list were "she's hygienic" LOL!!! I guess showering was a step up?!? Haha!! And that I wore make up and got pretty for him. I really wear make up and do my hair bc I love to do it, but I like that he appreciates that about me. Men crack me up!!! Can't help but love em!!! Can't wait to follow an Aggie!! Your newest follower. :)