Thursday, October 18, 2012
On Marriage & Liking Different Things
Last night, as I was heading out to go to a local networking event, I asked C for the millionth time if he wanted to go with me. He, for the millionth time, said no.
And so, being a loving & respectful wife, I waited 30 seconds and asked again.
It's hard for me to fully accept the fact that sometimes, I'm going to want to do something different than C. We've been around each other since we were 16, so our beliefs, likes, dislikes, hobbies, (etc.) are so in line it's freaky.
But part of growing up is learning to like new things. And part of us growing up together, is learning how to deal with liking different things. I like social events, while C hates them. I've grown fond of Brussels sprouts and sweet potatoes -- he will barely touch them. I watch Gossip Girl and Keeping Up With the Kardashians. C barely acknowledges those are things. (Instagram is in a whole different ball park!)
It's been interesting to see us develop likes & interests separate from one another, even with such close proximity. I think it's something that's natural. But I'd be lying if I said I wish it weren't so. But, alas, it is. It's what we do about it that matters.
C's a wonderful guy who hasn't pushed too many of "his things" on me. He's respectful of my time & attention. He doesn't waste too much effort trying to force something, and I know if he's pressing an issue, it's because he truly thinks I'll enjoy it.
I, on the other hand, wish to share every-single-thing with him. Maybe it's a girl thing? But it can be a strain on our relationship. I talk 1000 miles a minute anyway. Add to that a topic that he doesn't care the slightest about, and you can see how quickly that can lead to an unpleasant conversation.
So, I'm writing this as almost a confessional. I wanted to open up & say that I realize that even when my heart's in a good place, the end result can be a negative one. I'm going to focus more on making moments with C count more - to be okay with our differing interests. To respect his time when he's not interested in something. And to really focus on things that we enjoy doing together when we're together.
That's not too much to ask, I think...
And over the years, my only hope is that we will continue to find new things we like to do together. Because those are always my favorite ♥