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Thursday, October 18, 2012

On Marriage & Liking Different Things

Last night, as I was heading out to go to a local networking event, I asked C for the millionth time if he wanted to go with me. He, for the millionth time, said no.

And so, being a loving & respectful wife, I waited 30 seconds and asked again.

It's hard for me to fully accept the fact that sometimes, I'm going to want to do something different than C. We've been around each other since we were 16, so our beliefs, likes, dislikes, hobbies, (etc.) are so in line it's freaky.

But part of growing up is learning to like new things. And part of us growing up together, is learning how to deal with liking different things. I like social events, while C hates them. I've grown fond of Brussels sprouts and sweet potatoes -- he will barely touch them. I watch Gossip Girl and Keeping Up With the Kardashians. C barely acknowledges those are things. (Instagram is in a whole different ball park!)

It's been interesting to see us develop likes & interests separate from one another, even with such close proximity. I think it's something that's natural. But I'd be lying if I said I wish it weren't so. But, alas, it is. It's what we do about it that matters.

C's a wonderful guy who hasn't pushed too many of "his things" on me. He's respectful of my time & attention. He doesn't waste too much effort trying to force something, and I know if he's pressing an issue, it's because he truly thinks I'll enjoy it.

I, on the other hand, wish to share every-single-thing with him. Maybe it's a girl thing? But it can be a strain on our relationship. I talk 1000 miles a minute anyway. Add to that a topic that he doesn't care the slightest about, and you can see how quickly that can lead to an unpleasant conversation.

So, I'm writing this as almost a confessional. I wanted to open up & say that I realize that even when my heart's in a good place, the end result can be a negative one. I'm going to focus more on making moments with C count more - to be okay with our differing interests. To respect his time when he's not interested in something. And to really focus on things that we enjoy doing together when we're together.

That's not too much to ask, I think...

And over the years, my only hope is that we will continue to find new things we like to do together. Because those are always my favorite ♥


  1. What a sweet, honest post. You are very lucky to have a partner you enjoy spending so much time with. Look at your differences as opportunity's to miss each other a bit more, so that the reunion is that much sweeter.



  2. This is so sweet! It's definitely a girl thing....I do the same thing. But you're so right, it's much healthier to respond with acceptance when our husbands say "no thanks" than to take it personally or be upset about it. And I agree--always keep trying to find things you love to do together!!

    Something Ivory

  3. KB and I are the exact opposite. We have very different likes and hobbies and we rarely ever involve each other in our things. It sounds bad, but I think it's actually a good thing. I like having some alone time and it makes our time together more special.

  4. I've been with my Fiance we were 17 (we're 27 now) and as much as we have grown together, some of our tastes have grown in different directions too.

    I often go to things without him, and he often stays at home, gaming online with the boys. I used to find it hard too, but now I just organise things with great friends of mine instead and have a fantastic time knowing that Fiance is happier at home :)

    - Ididtellyou.blogspot.com

  5. I can totally relate!
    I've been with my boyfriend since I was 16 and him 19, we've aged by 5 years now and there are still things that were finding out about eachother and don't like doing what the likes.

    I know he'll never like shopping with me, for obvious reasons, and I wont ever like getting involved in a 'car' project.
    You gotta kind of have those things cause if you were too alike then it would be boring right?

    And there will always be things that you like doing together, and that can always top the things that you don't have incommon :-)