Thursday, January 17, 2013
On Marriage & Politeness
Being polite is something we all learn from a really early age. Please. Thank you. You're welcome. Don't ask, wait to be offered. Let others make the choice. You get the picture.
And these aren't bad things to learn. They're good and necessary. These rules keep us all in check so we're not complete jerks to each other.
But this isn't a post about my new-found desire to be more polite. Actually, it's quite the opposite.... I'm beginning to realize there's a point in a relationship where "being polite" does more harm than good.
Sometimes, I don't get what I want because I've told C over & over again that he can have what he wants. Half the time it's genuine, and builds up our relationship. But other times, it's just me being too polite, and that builds up tension and eventually resentment.
Being polite can be a shield. A way to avoid getting your feelings hurt or being turned down. But I'm realizing I should trust C enough to know that if he does say "no" or has a differing opinion/desire than me, it's not to harm me.
This year, 2013, my year of purpose, I want to be careful to not be overly polite. I want to be purposeful with the words I say, especially in my marriage. I want to love and respect C. And I want to trust him enough to be honest with him. ♥